Look inward and listen

     It amazes me that I have gotten this far in life, sometimes!  The one thing I have come to realize is, I don't really know anything!  And, when I just get something figured out; everything changes!!!
Rewind 4 years and 52 lbs ago.  I was always tired, out of shape, had heart palpitations and anxiety that required medication.  Clearly my life was out of control.  So over the next, nearly, two years I took the time to get to know myself and my triggers and practice ways to overcome my compulsive nature to overdo everything.

     Finally, my goal is reached and I realize that I am actually living the lifestyle that will keep me at this weight...as long as I continue to practice it every day!  As I looked back on my journey, it became apparent, the many things that sent my life sideways.  I am now employed by weight watchers and literally preaching that which I have learned, one of which is to listen to my body and its signals.
I also preach that we, as a society, spend way more time trusting "Them" (those who tell us what THEY think THEY know is best for US) and less time trusting ourselves.  And I beg my members to spend more time looking inward than outward.  (If you are a member in my meetings, you regularly see me miming quotation  marks when I use the word "They". )

     So, then why is it, that two years AFTER hitting goal, and living this life and maintaining it, do I find myself dealing with digestive issues???  Truth is, I have had them for far longer than diagnosed.  "GERD" (Gastroesophogeal Reflux Disease) was my diagnosis, and I am still unraveling this fine web of symptoms that are part of this lovely ailment.  

But, I'm confused....I eat well.  All my blood levels are fine...and I'm NOT overweight.  Yet, here I am!  I feel a bit cheated.  So, what's up?

     I decided to see an accupuncturist BEFORE I get hit with the tube down my throat.  (I don't want to take out a fly with a shotgun unless the fly is just that resistant.)

     So in my meeting with the "Dr.".  I am told that I have a host of allergies, or intolerances.  And as we disect this intricate weave, I realize that many of my allergies are MOST of the things that I eat! 
His mode of treatment is to deal with one allergy at a time.  He treats me, then tells me to refrain from the offending foods for 48 hours, after which I can start to re-introduce, but MONITOR myself, and see how my body reacts to these foods.  My reaction should be improved, though not necessarily cured!
I am putting my trust into this man, because he not only helped my husband get rid of some of his medications; he also assisted him in losing 20lbs.  So, I dare say, I'll take a chance here.
It has been an eye-opening experience, because in our 'research', I have found a number of items to be a problem.  Spices, wheat or gluten (not sure which yet), and the primary food group I live on......DAIRY!!!  (Shoot me now, I say.)  I was greatly assisted by dairy in my 52lb weight loss.  Non-fat dairy fills my fridge.  Yet it's actually disrupting my digestive system.  What a bummer.

     What I realized in these treatments, is I can look back and actually SEE in my history, where these foods have caused me grief.  It's like my eyes are opening up further than I thought they could!  I realized, sadly, that all that I have been preaching to my members, ("Look Inward") is something I have been neglecting myself.  Yet at the same time, I am so excited to see that though I thought I was quiet enough in my mind to know the difference...I can actually get quieter and go deeper than I thought.  With Practice!!!

     I also realized that, though I have been eating a well balanced diet, I still overdo.  And I can start to reduce, ever so slightly, while listening to my body and its responses more. 

     It's amazing to me how much we 'check out' of ourselves on a daily basis.  It's just more convenient to ignore, because to give ACTUAL ATTENTION takes effort and time that we convince ourselves that we don't have. 
     With the advent of computers, iphones, and even cars where we can roll up the windows and ignore the homeless, we have been provided with tools that actually allow us to ignore all external sources.  Lucky us.  We are learning to practice ignorance on a higher level every day.

     Well, I for one, am thankful for the reminder to turn it all back inward, take a look at myself, and realize that I am worth the time and effort.  Because if I don't take care of myself; how will I ever take care of anyone else!!!

A YEAR?????!!!!!?!??!?!?

Okay, Ca-RAZY that I haven't written here in a year.  Clearly, blogging regularly isn't my thing.  But I'm working on it, so stay tuned! 

I'm coming up on my 2 year celebration of being AT GOAL.  That is a very exciting piece of information for me, because for the first time (probably EVER), I am able to wear the SAME SIZE JEANS for two years in a ROW!!!!!   Just unbelievable to me.  In my history, I cannot recall that happening.  Usually, I would buy a pair of jeans, wear them, and then when they would get the least bit uncomfortable, I would start "avoiding" them.  Because, in my mind, I just KNEWWWWWWW......their life in my world had passed.  Only I did not want to confront it, so I let them sit inside my drawer until I was ready to face the music.  So, as I pull out the "same old" pair of jeans, I put  them on with a smile, knowing, that, not only did I achieve (what I felt was ) the impossible.....I have now officially MAINTAINED!!!

So, yes, I am celebrating ME!  And, why not?  I still talk to myself in my head like a bit of a loon.  I still struggle over good vs. bad choices, and I still want the whole carton of ice cream, yet I am contented (eventually), with a smaller portion.  I have really learned to put this program into play!
So....what's the secret, you ask???   NEVER GIVING UP!!!!! 
I am not complacent in my mind.  I am on guard.  I monitor, I choose, and I work out as damage control.  Thank God I have the tools from Weight Watchers to keep me on track!!!  I question myself less and manage more.  It's a great balance, and I am thankful for what Weight Watchers has given me.
My biggest weakness is still cookies (that I bake) and carbs and sweets.  But, I have learned to pick and choose what is actually worth taking the hit for. 

I wish I could impress on people that weight loss isn't an overnight thing.  It's truly an every day thing that we have to learn to manage.  I can't believe fad diets are still around.  But I guess as long as 'they' have to sell magazines; this is what I'm up against.  It makes my job hard, because everyone wants it all NOWWWWWW (like Varuca Salt in Willy Wonka). 

I sometimes I wonder if, gone are the days of hard work and true appreciation??  Alas, no!  There are those out there, who are slowly getting it.  Appreciating every pound they lose and every step they took to get there.  And as long as Weight Watchers will let me, I will be there to help people and let them vent their frustrations to me, because I know exactly how they feel.  It took me almost 2 years to lose 52lbs.  That's about .4/week. 
It IS possible.  You CAN do it.  Just do a little every day towards your GOAL, and eventually, as long as you apply the principles, you will get there!!
I'm here to be a cheerleader....or a therapist.  Whatever you need! 

Exercise is KEY!

Although I admit (and know from experience) that exercise is key...it's REALLY hard to stay on top of it.  So...how to stay motivated???  I'm lucky, because I have surrounded myself with people who regularly work out.  So, if I am feeling like I need a little push, I just reach out to one of my friends, who keeps me honest!
This morning, I scheduled a workout with a friend.  I feel she is way past my level, so that was my first excuse...but I also know, historically, that she will take mercy on me (so excuse OUT).  Then, I realized it may rain (my next excuse)....however, she was undaunted by the weather and wouldn't let me off the hook (and besides that, you are usually wet when you're done working out anyways, right?)....so ANOTHER Excuse OUT! 
I finally talked myself into meeting her and as I figured I would be...I was glad I did!  When I run with her, she keeps me at a bit higher level than I would do myself.  This is key to realize YOU WON'T DIE when you go out of your comfort zone! 
I'm constantly reminded that in order to get where you want to be...you, more often than not, have to reach outside of your comfort level.  However...some people choose to JUMP out of their comfort level, doing too much, too fast, and ultimately end up HATING the new experience, thereby, retreating to the COMFORTS OF OLD.
So, my offering today is, SLOWLY meander out of your comfort zone and make sure that you leave yourself wanting more!  If you go to the gym, with enthusiasm...leave with the feeling that you could have done more.  That way, when you go back NEXT time; you will come in with the feeling of continuing the GOOD that you did the day before; rather than overdo, and hurt yourself silly, thereby NEVER wanting to return!
Also, remember to find a person, place or thing that keeps you ACCOUNTABLE!  It makes all the difference!
Happy Wednesday!

Well, I finally decided to do it. Start a blog about how I maintain my 52lb weight loss; and for those curious, how I got there!

I started Weight Watchers a few times in my life and for various reasons, I quit following the program. Like many others, I had the mentality, "I'll hurry up and lose the weight and then get back to life as normal". What I didn't realize at the time, was, using Weight Watchers as a PROGRAM and not a WEIGHT LOSS SCHEME would help me to create a NEW "Life as Normal". And now, in 2010, I see it all so clearly!!!

After my girls were born in 2000 and 2002, I let life get in the way, and raised my girls as "mommy" and fell into all the kid snacks and clearing the kids plates for them, like many mommies do. Then one day in 2006, I went dancing and saw the resulting pictures, which are now considered my "Before" pictures. I had no idea that I had gotten that big, though I did see the scale and # staring back at me, I never dreamed I'd gotten that out of control.

I struggled with weight all my life; and having a sister with WAY smaller bone structure didn't help with my self esteem!

I decided to join Weight Watchers, once again, but unfortunately, 2006 wasn't my year.

When I started my daughter in Kindergarten in 2007, I looked around at all the little mommies and realized that I was on the upper end of the scale from these women. Instantly, I fast forwarded in my mind, to when my daughter would be aware of her mom's size and was fearful that I would embarrass her as she got older (as well as my younger daughter). So, when another mom asked if I wanted to join Weight Watchers...(Yet again), I said YES!

I started going to the meetings in 2007 and was happy to see I had maintained my previous weightloss (of 5 lbs) from the year before. However, I had a ways to go, and I felt the task was daunting! However, I filed in every week to the meetings and took away bits of knowledge that I would ultimately apply to my life.

I decided to follow the CORE plan (which is now "Filling Foods), because I didn't want to track. This decision was pretty easy for me, because the non-core foods that I wanted were the only things I had to track and that was easier for me!

I remember one week in particular, I had lost 3.8 lbs. I was ecstatic! I couldn't believe it, because I wasn't "THAT" good that week. However, the next week when I came in, I was UP 4.4 lbs. I was SO upset that I was going to quit!!! However, I was intervened by a friend of mine who wouldn't let it happen. She threatened to kick my "you know what" if I even considered quitting, so I promised I would stay on. After all SHE had lost 90lbs from Weight Watchers, so I was thinking she knew what she was talking about!!!! (Thank GOD for her!)

Many things started happening on my journey. I'll never forget the time, I promised my girls that we would go to McD's for lunch on our way home from errands (because that was my old pattern). And as we approached the drive through, I started thinking in my mind how many points the foods were, and how I wouldn't be able to get anything SATISFYING for 5 or 6 points. So, I told my girls, that we needed to go home, that there is just NOTHING there that is that good for us! We went home and I fixed an awesome lunch for me and my girls and we were all happy!

Then, there was the time I was at the local market and I looked in my basket at all the vegetables that I WANTED, and when I realized that I had a plan for all these beautiful foods, I almost started crying. (Vegetables were never on my shopping list before).

It took me 20 months to get to my goal, but when I look back at all the struggles I went through to get to my goal, I see that I gained SO MUCH along the way.
What I have learned from Weight Watchers is that it's all about making GOOD choices! We have to face food every day of our lives. For some of us, it's a crutch. For some it's our main coping mechanism. It's so important to be able to STOP AND QUESTION your current bad habits and ask WHY am I making this choice. Will it benefit me, or will I end up hating myself after I choke this food down.

We have to be able to challenge our current thoughts in order to make better decisions for ourselves. For most of us, we don't know why we do what we do...it's just easier to do it. But the backlash from our bad choices usually spin us out of control, and that is the behavior we have to stop.

I have been a year at maintenance. It blows me away that I have been able to maintain it, but then again, my journey was so slow that I really adapted to my new life along the way.

My goal is to inspire every week. I'm now a Weight Watchers leader and love it. If I can help people realize a new way of life...my life will be complete.